They're all gonna laugh at me!

So I'll admit, I haven't really ventured out of my apartment much. I am in exams period at school so don't really need to be anywhere. I prefer to study at the library, but the effort it takes to get there has prevented me from making the journey.

Though the effort is one significant reason to avoid going anywhere, really my shyness plays a big factor in it too. I'm not uncomfortable meeting new people or carrying a conversation or anything, but I am curiously put off by people looking at me, especially when I'm doing something that I feel is kind of weird or uncool. And, well, there are times on crutches (sometimes all the time) when you don't exactly look slick.

So when I'm on crutches, I feel pretty paranoid that people are staring at me. I don't know if people even really notice or care, but I suspect they do since I hear "what'd you do?!" from all over the place when I go anywhere. A couple years ago, when I was working in a small town and was on crutches for a long time, I used to crutch to the supermarket and random people would actually stop and ask me if I wanted a ride. I would thank them, but I had a car, and I just wanted the exercise. People seemed to think that this made me somewhat crazy, as though a broken ankle diminished my need for fresh air and sunshine.

But even if people are thinking "why doesn't that crazy girl stay home or get a car or something," it really shouldn't stop me from going out. I believe that you should live your life in a way that makes you happy, damning the stares you may get along the way, and one of my goals for this time on crutches was to work on putting that belief into action.

So, I'm going to start tracking my outdoor crutch-time to help motivate myself. I'm going to use my love of getting better at things to help chip away at my fear of being stared at. I just went on a crutch-walk around the block and my shoulders were weeping by the time I came back, so I'll tally my crutch-ercise for today as:

1 X 150 crutches, followed by 1 X 25 crutches. I made it kind of around the block. Shut up. Don't laugh. :P